Making Mama {and Papa} Art
My mama, she has stacks and stacks of them in her attic—scribed memories from our childhood. “Daily Communicators” we called them during our growing-up days. I remember, she would sit there at her desk during the shadow-hours when her home-world was dark and quiet and she would burn that candle low and bend her heart even lower as she poured love-words and holy-verse words and made funnies in the spiral notebooks with each of our names on them. She was sacrificial-love in flesh-form and the Spirit whorled from her fingertips and across pages and when she was done with the writing and drawing each night she would place them on the steps going up to our rooms so they would be there to greet us come morning. Always, always, always we were jubilant to read our secret correspondence from mom and scurry ourselves away to message her back with our own unfurling thought and creativity.
Back and forth, day and night. For years this holy ritual spread across and seeped deep into our evolving bodies, minds, spirits. And those sacred pages? They’re just wet and pressed tree pulp and maybe they’ll turn to ash one day, but this practice lit our limbs from within and sewed feathers on our wing-less frames and maybe that was her plan all along? To make sure we flew further then she did? Because that is my everyday prayer now that I’m a mama and everything I do is for the dream of shooting our own boys past the celestial cradle where all the stars are born.
This practice of writing with my mum? I know what it did to mold me—all the conversations and communion and cartoons committed into the fabric of my molecular memory and printed right on my stretching skin and I am something more because of it . . .
It was midnight last Sunday and I lit my own candle to burn low and I folded my own heart over brand new pages of mother-son friendship possibility and Spirit whorled up from the way-down roots in my belly and tears of hallowed gladness ran over the ridges of cheekbone and I knew for the first time what it must’ve felt like for my mom at her late-night altar all those years ago . . . The savage hope that every beautiful intention and devotion to the young ones would make a difference in who they become, that the maternal love would be their aviary until the doors are swung wide and they go aerial—up, up and away.
We’re calling them “conversations” and carrying this tradition forward in our family tribe. And the paper-words are flip-flopping now between me and three young lads and do you know that their souls come out so different this way and who is blessing who? I eat every scrawled out letter and imaginative picture like the soul food it is. But I would also tell you, that in two weeks time we are already stronger in our intimacy bonds. Because the written-words seems to go beyond the everyday-words. And I can draw a snarly, fang-faced cartoon with angry eyes and steam blowing from the ears and say: “I know that sometimes I look and act like this. But, you know right? That I’m human (and hormonal because I’m a girl and we’ve already established that girls are different, eh?) and no matter what, I LOOOOOOVE YOU!!!! And I’m doing my best. My absolute best.” And 10-year boy writes me back and tells me that he is sorry for the times he is an “ogre” too, that I am a very fun person to be around and can we be friends forever? he asks. Oh, need he ask? Not only this, but he searched his own Bible for verses to help us both be better together and wrote all ten of them down in our “conversations” notebook.
With 99 cents spent? We make priceless, timeless art.
:::::
In which I join Sarah’s parenting carnival:
{This post is dedicated to my mama, Anne Louise. She is mine and there is love between us and my heart is glad. So glad.}
-
Link to The Life Artist
My Instagr.am Gallery
68 Comments
….and there’s the tears. <3
Thank-you Elora. For stopping by and saying so . . .
Love,
Erika
What a fantastic idea. I’m going to do this.
Yay!!! Have fun!!!
Love You,
Erika
P.S. Joy, thanks for coming by.
I love this! What a wonderful way to connect with your children. I am going to tuck this away for when my children can read and write. Thank you for sharing your “practice”.
And you write beautifully!!!
Amanda
Thank-you Amanda . . . Blessings to you, friend.
Love,
Erika
“Because the written-words seems to go beyond the everyday-words.”
Lovely and sweet!
Thank-you new friend, Mihee . . . for stopping by!
Love,
Erika
i am so doing this….i like copying lots of things you do! you make me a better mama!
Shucks woman. You be making me blush over here.
Love You,
Erika
What a gift for your children and for you! My mind is marveling over the possibilities for the day I have children of my own.
A “marveling” mind is such a beautiful thing! Thank-you darlin, for being with me today.
Love,
Erika
P.S. I know you’re going to be such a good mama.
i want you to write about the spirit whorling from me. i have whorls in my fingers. and i have tears whorling from my eyes.
“Whorling” is my new favorite word.
And if anybody “whorls”, it’s YOU.
Xxxxxxxxxxxx,
Erika
My 8 year old daughter already writes to me almost daily, and not once have I thought of writing back until now. I will make this a priority.
Heather, you’re going to have so much fun with it!!! Thank-you for being here!
Love,
Erika
This is just beauty. My favourite entry in the carnival so far. I wonder how I could do this idea with my three-year-old, since he can’t yet read. When did your mama start this with you?
Hi Beth! Thank-you so for your lovely comment . . .
My mom started with us when we were in 3rd-ish grade, but I think you can start sooner and make it age appropriate, with more pictures and less words – gradually evolving the practice as the kids get older.
Enjoy!
Love,
Erika
This is a beautiful practice and beautifully written.
You made me cry.
What lucky kids you have.
Beth, you are so dear for saying so . . . Thank-you friend.
Much Love,
Erika
wow. what a beautiful family habit. thank you for writing this, Erika! I want to make this a practice of my family, too. None of my kids are old enough to write letters. But perhaps we start with pictures? My husband has drawn picture gifts for them at night sometimes, for a morning surprise. But we’ve never made it a regular habit. Did you guys have notebooks that were passed back & forth then?
I love it!
I’m planning on coming back here, too. I’ve read your stories on “deeper”, but never been to your blog before.
Hi Erin! Thank-you for being here with me today.
Yes, we have notebooks that pass back and forth and the correspondence with our youngest is mostly pictures and some words. The conversations are different with each one – determined by their ages.
Have fun with it!!!
Love,
Erika
What a great idea. Love the passion your mom had for you. I posted this on my FB wall.
Aww . . . Thanks so much Lucille. Makes my heart happy.
Love,
Erika
Wow! How beautiful! Thank you for sharing. As I read, I thought, “I hope this post goes viral!” I want to live in a world where every family practices this!
“who is blessing who?” Isn’t that the most amazing part of so many of these mothering practicies.
Thank you so much!
Jennifer, your compliment is so big and my heart just went all the more humble. And and why am I crying all of a sudden?
Thank-you. So much.
Love,
Erika
Oh, Erika, I love every single thing about this, and I’m so thankful you shared it and fed me some fine writing as I gobbled it up. Thank you, my friend. What an awesome ritual and heartbinder.
Oh darlin’. Thanks for coming over and leaving me such a fine compliment.
Love you,
Erika
I.cannot.wait.to.do.this! what a magic idea! right now I keep journals that i have written in from the day i found out i was expecting them, but can’t wait to do this conversation with them. real time love. maybe one more year or i’ll be confined to kindergarten “can, I, go, the and and”
Ha! Pictures might be the order of the day then!
Thank-you Tara. I very much appreciate your voice . . .
Xx,
Erika
I am actually, really truly crying over this one. So, so, so MUCH – so much love, so much intention, so much beauty. Erika, you ARE MY PEOPLE. I have tucked this one away in my heart. Thank you.
I’m crying too. Because something that meant {and means} so much to me is actually meaning something to other people too.
Thank-you for the email.
Love you,
Erika
My mom gave us bookmarks with little notes that I still keep in my Bible, where it says in her little cramped letters that God is still working on her and thanking me for my patience. I treasure that little kitten bookmark.
This idea is fantastic. I love this way to remember not just the baby years, but the years when they’re thinking things through and processing them as little people. Lovely idea, lovely post.
Yes! Jessica, their “processing thoughts” are soul fodder to me! I can’t get enough of it.
Thank-you for sliding into my space here and leaving me your words.
Always the Love,
Erika
Oh, I LOVE this. *tears* What a special woman your mother is and was to you. I would love to do this someday with my own children when they are old enough. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful blessing and practice of parenting. LOVE.
Oh. Many, many “thanks” Adriel. Bless you.
Much Love,
Erika
I love this one. As someone who met and fell in love with the person they married via email (we’d written a whole book’s worth of letters to each other before we spoke or met in person for the first time) I’m a HUGE fan of the power of the written word. I’d not thought of doing this with our kids yet. Our first baby’s only 5 months old but I’ll be tucking this one away for the future. Thank you.
Thank-YOU fellow word lover. Your kind response touches my heart . . .
Love,
Erika
P.S. I’ll bet your love story is a good one!
I voraciously search out for other hearts like mine, like yours, because I didn’t have the upbringing like you describe (I am a lone wolf deep thinker in my family) – and I grieve over it sometimes.
I want this for my children so much. I LOVE this idea, today we wrote small story books to each other in fact, and I come here and read how we can do it every night? Wow. I had to read your post out loud to my husband and I’m so not that kind of girl — just to get my chill bumps to calm down. Love. Love. Love.
Also? “…celestial cradle where all the stars are born.” I love when I read things and know that someone knows what I know. All of it. Just wow. <3
I’ll slide right up to your kindred heart any day, Arianne. Done.
Thank-you for touching my heart just so.
I love you,
Erika
Oh, Erika – this tells me so much about why you are who you are. What a BEAUTIFUL practice for your mother to model and for you to enjoy. And now you’re doing it with your 3 laddies – perfection. My mom and I wrote notes back and forth about books we were reading together, especially during those teen years when talking got tougher. They helped a lot. Never did it with my kids, though – we just talked all the time. Writing would have been good. Thanks for this beauty tonight.
There was a time during my teen years when I was in denial about how much like my mama I am. Now? I’m just so proud to have fallen right under her tree.
Thank-you Diana, for every word you give here.
Love,
Erika
I love how your words wrap themselves around me like a cozy little blanket and enfold me into your world.
You are a fierce mama (that’s my favorite word right now, so it really is the *highest* compliment) in all the best ways. Oh, how this stirs me to begin my own little strain of love notes and secret messages with my burgeoning reader/writer who could use a good nudge to journal just for the fun of it. Brilliant!
Well, I just enjoyed that image of something of mine wrapping around you like a cozy little blanket. Maybe someday . . . I’ll be able to wrap you in my arms. Glory be.
Thanks for the “fierce” word, it’s one of my favorites too.
Love you,
Erika
this journey of loving each other and growing together, bound and nurtured in words. Fantastic. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for reading Kath. I am profoundly honored . . .
Love,
Erika
Very tender words for a tender tradition being continued by a beautifully tender mom.
I am beginning to see the wisdom of tenderness and trying to infuse my mothering with it. Thank-you so much Aunt Sally . . .
Love you so,
Keeka
This!! Wow I’m inspired. What a blessing to have those chapters of your story. OK time to go grab a pen.
Oh. Yes. The blessing doesn’t escape me . . . Grab that pen, Heather. And go to town!
Love you,
Erika
What a wonderful way of connecting to your kids and also in getting them to write. I’m a ESOL teacher and dialogue journals are considered one of the best practices in teaching writing, particularly because the writing is received non-judgmentally. Writing is probably the hardest skill to teach, in my opinion, because you have to create the content as well as write it down. So from a teacher standpoint, this is a great thing to do. I love the way you bring out all the other good reasons to do it! I hadn’t thought of using dialogue journals with my own children though. Thank you!!
Laura, thank-you for the encouragement and confirmation from a teacher’s perspective!
And, thank-you for visiting today.
Love,
Erika
The carnival over at Emerging Mummy led me here, and wow, I’m so glad! Loved this post! What a wonderful gift and legacy…
Thank-you Megan! I think I need to slip on over to your post! I’m slowly making my way thru them all as time allows.
Much love to you,
Erika
You have a gift. So beautifully written. Tears. Thank you.
Thank-you for your tears, for saying so . . . <3
Much Love,
Erika
Oh, I LOVE this, Erika. Love love love. Thanks for the inspiration.
Mama:Monk! I LOVED your post too!!! And everything else I read while visiting your space yesterday! Can we be friends?!
Love,
Erika
so sweet~
Gratitude.
Xx,
Erika
This is absolutley wonderful. My son and I keep journals but THIS would expand our experience with this form of art much deeper in communication with each other, and benefit my daughters too. I love the honesty of the “ogre” and can, of course, completely relate! Thanks for wriitng this up for all of us!
Aww . . . Thanks Brianne. I feel so honored and blessed that this meant something to so many . . .
Love to you,
Erika
You know how there are good writers & then there are poetic writers? You’re a poetic writer & it takes me to a different place.
I like that your house is full of boys that you get to show yourself, your feminine motherly beauty, while speaking their language. It gives me goosebumps.
My girls are a bit young for this, and I love the idea of conversing back & forth. As your boy finds verses for saying I’m sorry, it reminds me of my five year old after cooling off & coming to reconcile. She says, “Mama, can you give me some grace?” Oh sweetness when our children find their way to Jesus.
Kamille, my birthday isn’t until tomorrow. But, I feel like it’s today with that compliment . . . Also, it’s so funny because I say that same thing your daughter does to my boys whenever I’m PMS-ing, “Hey Bubs, can you give me some grace?” Ha!!! Oh, that grace is for EVERYthing, isn’t it?!
Love you,
Erika
I can only imagine the treasures that you are storing up in those pages, and yet {and yet} what must be storing up in those boys’ hearts. Now THAT is {and will be} something to behold!
I can only imagine…
Thank you for sharing this gift with us.
Janae
Thank-you Jenae, I imagining {and hoping} it means a whole lot to them some day, but either way, it touches us now with so much goodness.
You are a beauty.
Love,
Erika
oh friend. you call your mother “mum” too
this made me miss my mum. beautiful write dear erika.
<3 <3 <3 to you Em.
Thank-you . . .