(Sorry, but you can’t un-see that.)
I’m speaking at Allume again, but this year it’s gonna go down a lot more awesome because my only guy, The Austin Morrison, is sharing words by my side. Oh my goodness!!! I have this GREAT idea!!! You should COME to the Allume conference so we can all have a GIANT group hug!!! Austin and I might be the best hug-giving team EVER, but don’t take my word for it, you could COME and find out for YOURSELF!!! Hmmm… Let me see if I can say this yet ANOTHER way… Nope. I’m done. But, seriously: COME.
Whether I’m able to lure you to the conference with the promise of our STUPENDOUS hug-giving or not, there is something I want to say before God, with you as a great witness cloud. And I’m saying it because I’ve seen too many people gain a platform and get all ego-ed up inside. Related: I’d rather quit right now than get puffed full with pride. I’ll go straight back to a quieter life NO PROBLEM, faster than you can say “Tinkerbell has a tiny tush”. You feelin’ me right now?
So as someone who is writing words that people read and as a speaker who is saying things that people hear, I have an acute urge to make an agreement to you via a love letter I’ve crafted to the Curators of the upside down Kingdom.
We’ve been together a long time, you know me everywhere and I’ll spend the rest of my born days learning you. But right now and in the meantime I will say this: we’re real good together, I’m pretty darn sure of that.
I love US.
And I want to continue loving who we are by honoring our story, the crazy, abundant places we’ve been and the infinite road ahead. Will you help me? Because I have to tell you that this steadily growing platform has me a little spooked in the beating place between my rib bones. And my shoulders feel this descension of holy weight landing in the middle of my blades.
The spook and the weight come as a result of not being naive to the seduction of my own self. Or immune to the temptation of my own glory. I’m not made of celestial stuff only, but must drag this old man skin around wherever my feet follow and forge. Which is why I’m writing you a letter while I’m lucid and making it public so everyone can stick me to it.
Would you stick me to it also? Because I can not and will not and most assuredly REFUSE to lose who we’ve become. We’ve taken each other in and I feel my fingers touching your veins and your air in my lungs, our expressions and offerings intimate and united. On our really good days, I cannot see where you and I begin and end. Can you believe it? Let’s move as one always, humming and spinning; pumping our fists and shaking our booties. We’ve got rhythm, by good God.
With you inside me I want to crawl on my knees wherever this platform takes us, overcome that you would trust my voice and hands to give parts of your life away and I pray with my whole trembling aorta that I will always uphold your worth and beauty, especially when I find myself bleeding-out between the binding of a book or in that sacred spot at the front of a room, people looking at me from toe to mohawk-tip.
With my spirit tender and floored before you:
I pray that the men and women who come into my sphere of influence would see your face first before their eyes ever land on mine.
I pray not to use any position or opportunity you give me as a means of promoting my own kingdom (or to push my own agenda or attempt to make a move of God happen in my own name).
I pray that I will never engage in any form of spiritual abuse or manipulation.
I pray that I won’t ever exploit you or make a business out of our relationship.
I adamantly decline any kind of service to the kingdom of man. ←— Hold me to this.
Having said that, I know my divine birthright and I’ve been told that it serves no one for me shrink back, play small or apologize for how you’ve uniquely knit me. I will use my gifts and talents to serve and sacrifice to the one true Kingdom; the Kingdom of small and poor and foolish, losers and misfits and nobodies. I’ve already told you that I will burn especially bright this year and I mean to. I’m going to light it up. You birthed me in the Holy Ghost to be fully alive, to hold my head up and be a sincere worshiper following in the dusty footprints of the flesh born King. I am a branch to your vine, you’ve pruned me and pruned me and pruned me some more and I can honestly say I’m bearing the fruit of your Kingdom.
So let’s hold hands and the three of you can help me navigate this thin-line tightrope between being who I am as a beautifully crafted daughter with a vibrant story to tell and the other side of me which can get tempted by the offerings of the illusion world.
Let’s do this. I love you.